Betty T. Thrailkill

Our mother, Betty Thrailkill, was born on a tobacco farm in Coward, SC on August 14, 1929, the last of seven children of Alford and Daisy Turner. She died at home in Cheraw on the morning of Thursday, March 20, 2025, aged 95, well cared for and in the full assurance of a simple, deep Christian faith.

On Tuesday night she startled all in her hospital room by announcing out of a sound sleep, “I’m going to heaven,” and then, “I’m going to bed.” In later years as she struggled, she often awoke with a report, “I feel terrible,” to be followed by, “I think I’ll fix a meal for....” Love and service were good medicine.

Our thanks go to Dr. Novinger and staff, the team of nurses at McLeod Health-Cheraw, her caregivers (Catherine Hord, Mary McQuage, Sandy Watson, Meg Sprouse, Hope Castor, Dana Evans and Ashley Harper), her Sunday School class at First United Methodist Church, Dr. Michael Pavi of McLeod’s Hospital who rescued her from cancer four times in forty years, the Wound Center of Carolina Pines Hospital in Hartsville, and the angels of Crescent Hospice and Care Well Home Health.

A family joke is that we knew neither her name nor birth date. She knew herself as Betty Jean but always wondered why she was not named after her mother, Daisy Jane. It seems that old Dr. Whitehead of Lake City, who went into Florence to register the births every few months, never filled out her birth certificate. It was only much later, when applying for a Passport, that we found that the census of 1930 listed her as Betty Jane. For simplicity, she opted to retain Betty Jean as her legal name.

Her father twice signed official forms with the wrong birth date, but for the best of reasons! Another child was needed to justify a teacher in a multi-grade one room school in the Fall of 1934, so she started first grade when barely five. With just eleven grades at the school, she graduated at only fifteen. Another change of birth date allowed her entrance into the nursing program at McLeod’s Infirmary shortly after her next birthday. We think she was 95 at death, but the mystery remains!

Betty was twice orphaned, the first at fifteen months, when her mother’s gown was set ablaze by a log rolling out of the fireplace as she was holding our mother. Her father married “Miss Winnie” several years later, and she died in 1941 when Betty was 12. On Thursday morning when the gates opened, she was embraced by Daisy Jane, and the hole in her heart that had shaped all of her life was finally healed.

It was in June of ‘51 that our father, Dr. Jim, who was working at McLeod’s the summer after his junior year at MUSC, stepped off an elevator and spied a lovely nurse with auburn hair walking down the hall with her back to him. He elbowed his buddy, “I’m going to ask her out.” He did, and three weeks later they were engaged.

Married a year later June 14, they worked together for a year at McLeod’s, he an intern, she an obstetrical nurse. Then it was on to Cheraw in June of ‘53 to purchase a small medical practice from a doctor called back into the Navy during the Korean War. And for 47 years until his retirement in 1999 they were a medical tag-team, with her keeping him well-clothed and well-fed, filling in at the office, as he served his patients, the hospital, and made over 25,000 house calls. They had three boys (Phil in ‘53, Tony in ‘55, Chris in ‘58) followed by a daughter, Betsy, in 1964. As children it was our delight to find our parents dancing in the kitchen to Count Basie’s Satin Doll.

Her life became less medical because running the home, cooking gourmet meals, working with the Garden Club and Hospital Auxiliary, ferrying her four children, volunteering at the Health Clinic, working with Cub Scouts, playing bridge, throwing dinner parties, teaching Sunday School, and growing beautiful flowers consumed all her hours.

Our father was the face of the operation, but she was the highly valued back office and operations director. They were boyfriend and girlfriend all their days.

Marrying our father was a step up, and while already a skilled nurse in her own right, she knew little about decorating, landscaping, flower arranging, silver and fine china, and all the courtesies of a small town where the wives of professionals were expected to staff all manner of volunteer efforts. But she mastered them all.

Never was she happier than with a house full of family and friends to whom she could announce, “Dinner is served!” We’ve eaten more meals that look like photographs out of “Southern Living” than I can count.

Hers was an American story and ours an American tale of love and service. I (Phil) served as a Methodist pastor for 47 years and now as a freshly ordained Anglican priest, writing books and teaching at seminaries in Africa.

Tony in the Navy and Chris in the Army have served their country bravely as Gulf War veterans. Tony is a gospel song writer, and his gift to mother was his song writing and singing. Chris could always make mother laugh and was a constant delight.

Betsy is an entrepreneur. She delighted in creating adventures for Gram. This included Betty’s first helicopter ride at 92.

Medicine, ministry, international relations, and costly military service are her legacy through us. Her granddaughters Ellen, Katherine, Madelene, Iris, and extended granddaughter Mary Carter; her grandsons Daniel, Anthony, and Jackson; great-grandsons Michael and Raleigh, as well as her son-in-law Christian (Betsy) and daughter-in-law Lori (Phil) all share in her legacy of love and hospitality. As Proverbs 31:31 commands “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

A memorial service is scheduled for Saturday, May 17 at 2:00 pm at First United Methodist Church. Memorials may be sent to First UMC or to St. David’s Anglican Church, both of Cheraw, or to Doctors Without Borders.

What an amazing, complex, wonderful woman, wife, and mother! Late in life with the advent of her “Gram cams” Betty became an Instagram influencer and garnered a local and international audience who loved with her southern ways and sense of style (they may be viewed at #gramcambetty). She is a forgiven believer, joined to the communion of the saints in glory, where she awaits the resurrection of the dead at the end of the age. She would like you to join her there at a larger table for which the best of this life is only an appetizer.

This obituary was lovingly written by the family of Betty Thrailkill.